When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win by Carol Leifer

Por: Kester Taylor | |

Diane Park

"When You Lie..."

Carol Leifer triumphs as a comedy writer in her first book, When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win. Leifer writes a compilation of short essays that take the reader into some of the events that have shaped her 52 years of living. This stand-up comedian and Emmy-nominated comedy writer, most known for her writings for “Seinfeld,” has a way of transcending her stories beyond the pages, keeping it entertaining and a fun read.

The greatest memory marking her life: Shea Stadium and her first Beatles concert, 1966. Revealing that story meant revealing her age, and she wasn’t about to give up her best memory to regain a couple of years, “because I see now that when you deny your age, you deny yourself,” she says. “And when you lie about your age, you become your inauthentic twin. But most important, when you lie about your age, they win. (And of course by ‘they,’ I mean the terrorists.” This book represents Leifer coming to grips with her age and it’s her written declaration that it’s okay to be fifty.

When it comes to this book, the cliché “Time flies when you’re having fun,” really isn’t far from the truth. I was done with it in one sitting, still anticipating more as the pages went blank. With her charismatic and personal writing style, it’s hard not to get sucked into Leifer’s life. Even if you wanted to put the book down for a minute, maybe doggy-ear the end of a chapter and come back to it after dinner, it’s almost impossible not to want a little bit more. “But This One’s Eating My Popcorn,” “Extreme Makeover: The Chanukah Edition,” and “76 Trombones,” are hardly a decipherable titles of some chapters, enticing the reader for yet another riotous story.

Her writing style is clean and simple, much like her life philosophies.

When it comes to plastic surgery, Leifer says that she’ll “stick with gravity.”

The days when sweatpants run the red carpet will be heaven for Leifer, as she’ll, “buy anything that promises one iota of added comfort, be it to the ass or any of the nether regions.”

She urges women to put the “feminist” stereotypes aside and start fighting for women’s rights by marching, voting or donating. “Oh, I’m happy to stand up for your vagina. I am. But frankly, mine’s tired and would enjoy a nice cup of tea right about now.”

As for high school reunions, the thirtieth one is the only one worth going to, she says, because it’s finally that point where everyone thinks, “Whatever age you are is just the right age”–without the How’d she turn out looking? remarks at the ten-year reunion and the status reports on marriage, job and salary at the twentieth-year reunion. But most of all, she constantly reminds the reader to “be who you are–memories and all. Enjoy your life. It ends. We end. Getting older is supposed to happen.”

Leifer lets the reader in on her past and present throughout each chapter, giving a sense of comfort and empathy toward the character that Leifer is. She’s been married and divorced, and at the age of 40 found her life-long partner, a woman named Lori. They’ve adopted a son together and enrolled him into the temple day school as described in, “Creating a Jew.” Her father passed away almost four years ago and she’s coming to terms with what that means to her. He was her greatest influence, a prominent character in many of her stories and her biggest fan.

There are moments of vulnerability as well as out-right vulgarity in Leifer’s book. There’s no doubt she’s funny, and a little angry at times, but what comedian isn’t? Carol Leifer has a way of writing that is both insightful and entertaining, making her first book a pleasurable read.